watching annie “st. vincent” clark sing nirvana’s lithium just made me burst into tears, much like the way i would burst into tears when i played lithium over and over for hours way back when. i don’t talk about how much i loved nirvana because duh, who didn’t, how could you not, with all of those excellent songs, but man. i loved nirvana.
i found out about kurt’s suicide from a coworker at the customer service call center job i had. i was upset, but mostly numb - there has been another suicide scare a few months prior. plus i was still reeling from the death of river phoenix. when i got home, my mother called out to me, “shalé! that guy you like is dead.” later that night - into the early morning - my father stayed up with me and watched mtv news and nirvana’s unplugged episode and other vaguely related videos. my parents never really tried to keep up with my musical tastes once they let me develop them - my moms in particular wrote off everything i liked as them no-singing white boys - so for them to acknowledge this turning point was super sweet and stands out in my mind.
anyhoo, i had been kind of avoiding the recent nirvana chatter (lately i’ve grown weary of reading about rawk music from a white guy “i was misunderstood in high school!” point of few, which means i’m behind in my homemade music studies program, ha) but i figured i’d click on this video. i feel strongly about st. vincent like i felt strongly about nirvana and to see two parts of my life, 20 years apart, collide like this - well it blew my mind a little bit. straight up visceral reaction.
side note: halfway through soundgarden’s black hole sun, my father said, “hmm. these chord changes. this sound like stevie a little bit.” so your homework assignment is to imagine stevie wonder singing black hole sun.