a shameful whisper

Month

March 2012

26 posts

you'll have to excuse me; i rarely get political but...

…this shit just happened in georgia. if you don’t feel like clicking through, the GA house of representative passed a “fetal pain” bill, which cuts six weeks from the time women can have elective abortions.

i broke out in tears after reading it. it’s too much, guys. why the fuck are these people making these ridiculous laws? i’m sorry that someone’s god doesn’t like abortion (who fuckin’ does?!?), but why can’t we agree that since it’s a necessary evil, it should remain safe and legal for all?

why is this even happening? is it man’s attempt to regulate women in general, based on a fear of not being needed? is it about turning back the clock? what’s the end game? okay, let’s say these idiots get what they want - all abortion is illegal and now the planet is crawling with little unwanted babies that nobody can raise. (i’m assuming that these are the children of rape because if everything goes to plan, women will be too afraid to have sex for pleasure - that’s a man’s prerogative!) now what? what now? how far back are we going, government? do i need to freshen up my cotton picking skills?

i’m crying because i don’t know what to do. planned parenthood gets my money. i’ll sign every petition that comes down the pike. i vote - and i don’t mean, i registered to vote in 2008. i mean, i’ve been voting consistently since 1992. but i don’t know what else to do. and i don’t think it’s working.

the argument over women’s reproductive rights has been reaching a fever pitch over the past few months. this story linked above was the straw that broke my camel hump. i can’t take it. now if you’ll excuse me, i have to go through my budget with a fine-toothed comb to find things i must cut to afford living in this day & age. i mean, i guess our financial problems are fixed since we’re currently hunting down wombs, right?

Feb 29, 20129 notes

February 2012

20 posts

Feb 28, 20122 notes
Feb 28, 20121 note

yahoo horoscope for leo, love::daily singles edition, 02.24.2012:

Read and re-read that certain someone’s online profile. Replay that voicemail to your heart’s content. You’re not obsessing — you’re just getting all the nuances. And that’s just smart.

FINALLY. the validation i’ve been looking for every time i read my horoscope.

Feb 24, 20121 note
Feb 23, 201221 notes
she's a mountain, a hill of butterflies.

this may be blasphemous to say, but i think kelley deal might be my favorite deal sister? i dunno, man - check with me tomorrow.

wednesday night i went to see r. ring, which is basically mike montgomery (from the band ampline) and kelley deal (from the breeders and the kelley deal 6000). just those two, with a friend who occasionally played a lone snare with brushes.

image

it was good, but of course i’d say that. my unconditional love for the deal sisters is well documented. i make sure to mention that i love both sisters; even though kim has a larger body of work, the stuff that kelley has released is some of my favorite music in the world. i think she’s more willing to take chances stylistically. the duo opened with two TKD6K songs, scary and trixie delicious, then dove into original material. but don’t worry - you can still figure out which r. ring songs kelley probably wrote.

like, say, that one. they did another one that mike said would be on a 7” to be released in a couple of months. (kelley rolled her eyes at that; i hope it comes out.) it was gorgeous. they closed out the set with a rocker - mike playing driving riffs on an electric guitar while kelley sang loudly into a fuzzed-out mic, after announcing, “well, my husband just left me!” - and broke the sound system somehow. they were going to leave it at that, but the 50+ of us wanted more, so they played a completely unplugged cover of shellac’s ghosts.

the whole night felt so throwback-y. i haven’t been to a show in a tiny, smoke-filled club in a minute. so much standing around, avoiding eye contact! so many kids! smoking so many cigarettes! i was in a new skirt that on a younger, thinner girl probably looks light & airy; on me, it looked like i was chaperoning my kid from the back of the room. (thank god for this asymmetrical haircut.) a fellow & i reached for the same shirt at the merch table. “no, after you, i insist,” he said sweetly. i thanked him. then he said, “i gave you a quasi mixtape. the early recordings.” and he was right - the dude used to be a semi-regular at the video store i worked in from ‘98-‘04. he was adorable (still is) and we’d talk music and he made that quasi mixtape for me. my mind is still blown at that merch table exchange.

Feb 23, 20122 notes
#music #kim & kelley
go pooh. go pooh.

two years in and this video can still reduce me to tears. i’m barely holding myself together.

Feb 22, 20121 note
#the best thing ever #video #pooh #stickin #rollin
Feb 21, 20123,014 notes
Feb 19, 201210 notes

oh, this might be a big one.

i recently finished reading bossypants by tina fey. well, i didn’t actually finish it; i think there’s one more chapter about babies or something, but i got the gist of it. it’s funny. it’s very funny. i laughed out loud at times. so there’s that.

i like 30 rock, but i haven’t kept up with it over the last 2-3 seasons. i’d like to say it fell victim to stand up comedy, like so many other shows, but if i’m being honest it started to both bore and bug me. the show was getting to this cartoonish place that i didn’t enjoy. the same thing happened to seinfeld in those last few seasons; the episodes started to feel less smartly madcap and more throw-shit-to-the-wall wAcKy.

(this is also a problem i have with live improv comedy [fey’s background]. i understand that i should go with the flow but i’m not sure why i’m supposed to find a random collection of nonsensical things funny all because it’s happening in a make-believe car.)

basically, i kinda stopped caring what happened to liz lemon and her merry band of kwazy chawackters. once that occurs, it’s going to take illness & a comedy central marathon for me to give a damn again. but i’ve been trying. i’ve started to watch this season’s episodes on hulu. i haven’t laughed out loud much, but i haven’t been disappointed either.

here is where i mention that apparently some critics are also having a problem with 30 rock. (haters gonna hate.) i read this piece on the NPR website a week or so ago. if you don’t feel like clicking, the author says that the relationship between liz & jack has changed dramatically - liz has gone from a strong-willed, occasionally frazzled professional woman to a goofball lady who flails about & constantly seeks the approval of daddy donaghy. (i’m paraphrasing, but just a touch.) i also read this piece on slate that’s titled has liz lemon become “dumbass homer”? OUCH.

today i watched an episode where liz is renegotiating her contract with jack donaghy. she uses a how-to-negotiate guide that was written by jack a decade ago, giving jack a chance to battle himself. as they say, hilarity ensues. here is how the show ends, and pay special attention around the 20:18 mark. (don’t worry, i’ve set the video below to start at 18:48. i think.)

did you see that? did you see how she directly addressed her haters?

that bothers me.

i remember when tina fey won an award, possibly an emmy. in her acceptance speech she responded to internet commenters, using their screen names. it was a smart, biting, funny bit. she had an entire chapter in her book that did the same thing. funny, okay, but by now isn’t she ignoring that kind of thing? i’m sure it feels good to say to critics, “oh yeah? well, in your face! now what?” but does she have to be so…

…SMUG. that’s it, that’s what sometimes bugs me about tina fey and 30 rock. there’s an element of smugness - it’s not there all of the time, but i remember sensing it in the very first episode. that whole “bitch is the new black” thing from SNL’s weekend update back in the days of hillary v. barack was smug as hell. even her response to the recent “tiff” with questo from the roots (where he said on tv that tina fey was “never nice to the roots”) was some smug bullshit. she never actually apologized for what i’m willing to bet was repeat behavior; she just rushed ahead with the hoagie-of-forgiveness bit.

y’know, she’ll cop to it. she’s aware that her confidence level is ridiculously high, sometimes leading her to say stupid stuff, then cutting herself down with that rapier wit of hers. but that ain’t stopping her from appearing snotty at times.

look, i’m a pro-am hater. i’ve got grape haterade racing through my veins (sour grape! whaaaat??) and i don’t HATE tina fey. she’s ridiculously talented and i am learning many things from her, even from afar. things like be good at what you do, then be better. don’t fight against women in your field. believe in your voice. wear sunscreen. whatever. this could be me being envious of how when tina fey strikes back, she’s making a statement for feminism but if it were me, i’d be just another angry black woman. (i hate to go to race, but i wouldn’t be honest if i denied that it plays a small part in my discomfort.) maybe i just wish i had the kind of confidence in myself that she has in herself. i don’t know, man. i’d work with her in a heartbeat, but that smugness keeps me from putting all of my eggs into her basket. clearly i need to keep a few eggs for my own.

in closing, tl;dr.

Feb 18, 20123 notes
#book report #comedy #ladybits #serious analysis guys #i stole the tv
Play
Feb 18, 201210 notes

i’ve always named janeane garofalo as one of my favorite comedians, and yet i will be the first to admit that she was never particularly funny. i was just thrilled to see someone on stage who i totally related to. but in 2010 she put together a set that was pretty good. i saw her do some of it at SxSW in 2009 and i remember thinking, “that was really funny.” her appearance on john oliver’s new york stand up show is one of the funniest sets i’ve ever seen her do…perhaps one of my favorite comedy sets ever.

the combination of “…the dog days of august” and “RENEWED VIGOR!” gets me every time. her vocabulary choices slay me.

i know i have so much work to do, but if i can JUST ONCE turn out a set like this, i’d be pretty happy.
Feb 18, 20124 notes
#comedy #video
here's something i just learned: when i get tipsy, i like to write record reviews. apparently.

first thoughts after listening to the new sleigh bells, reign of terror, multiple times today:

okay, for everyone out there who will immediately say that it doesn’t have the same bite at the first record - how could it? a big part of treats’s appeal was its huge serving of “WTF?” there’s no way to duplicate that. but you also can’t drastically switch it up; that sound is crazy original (even while sounding like my bloody valentine played over j-kwon’s “tipsy”). so it sounds like the duo is sticking with the basic formula while implementing some tweaks. first, alexis’ vocals are louder and there seems to be an emphasis on harmonies. derek’s guitar work is downright baroque at times; he has also written really beautiful passages. (it helps to be a fan of repetition, though.)

in closing, whereas the first record sounded like hearing kids running through the streets as you drove around sweating in the summer sun, your shitty car speakers making everything seem distorted, this record sounds like….well, like that same summer mostly, but also the days that you stay in during a sudden rainstorm, hoping that it stops in time for you to catch that guy you like at the pool.

also, i like sleigh bells. if you got a problem with that, keep it to yourself. i don’t talk shit about whatever boring ass crap you keep reppin’….oh! that must be the wine talking.

Feb 14, 20122 notes
#music #serious analysis guys #video
cha-ching.

i’m making my way through a debt management course that i need to complete before i can discharge my bankruptcy. i’m on the first section, which is about budgeting. my plan was to try to breeze through this thing - i know that my problem is i’m bad with money, especially when i have moments of unemployment - but i’m taking a few notes on how to make a budget. gotta learn that shit at some point, right? i mean, my plan B is stand up comedy, so managing my money sounds like a good idea.

at any rate, there’s a section on wants vs. needs. according to these guys, this is the hierarchy of needs:

if i honestly assess my situation, i am woefully lacking in a number of these needs. BUT i can’t afford the wants it would take to fill the void, so i should be just fine.

Feb 7, 20121 note

wait. you mean to tell me there’s NOT a way to lock up your keyboard during a full moon or impending menses? so if i’m suddenly overcome with emotions about reactions to madonna’s super bowl halftime show and i get the urge to tweet about it, there’s no way to stop me?

uh oh.

Feb 6, 20121 note
Feb 4, 20126 notes
#the best thing ever #can you please do the stanky leg for the happy birthday boy #again the best thing EVER

not even in chapel hill for 24 hours and i’ve already located & eaten at the local chipotle. i needed one of those salads, though - last night i ate a lackluster shrimp salad, then a chicken/cheese/italian dressing wrap.

this may shock you, but i’ve never really eaten a wrap before. like, where all of the food stuff is completely encased by a tortilla or pita bread or whatever. and yes, that includes burritos. never eaten one. mostly because burritos include beans and i’m not big on beans. but also…there’s something that weirds me out about all of the food being wrapped up. i like my food to have a way to escape. sandwiches, quesadillas, gyros - all of these things have at least a fire exit for the meats or cheeses or sauces.

anyhoo, that wrap was just this SOLID BLOCK of food that i regretted with every single bite. tasty, but still. i found myself on the hotel treadmill this morning, trying to jog away the memory.

then again, anything that makes me get back on a treadmill after slacking on working out for almost two months is pretty powerful.

oh yeah, the comedy. last night i jumped on a open mic. there was a new joke that i wanted to test again but i didn’t get to it. also, i don’t know if 19 year old college kids really get the subtle nuance of any gentrification joke, let alone mine. tonight is my first official set for the festival. it’s at 11pm, meaning i probably won’t hit the stage until close to midnight. so i think i’m going with raunchy. well, as raunchy as i get. i mean, my situations are adult, but at no point do i talk about the stank level of my hoo-ha. so obviously i’ve got some writing to do.

Feb 3, 20121 note
#chapel hill #comedy #i have issues

in about 45 minutes i will be leaving for the NC Comedy Arts Festival in chapel hill, nc. i’ve never been to either chapel hill or a comedy festival. it’s showcase-based, i.e. not a competition; i’m slated to do 2 sets (8-10 minutes each), plus i signed up for an open mic tonight. i haven’t decided what i’m going to say yet, but i guess that’s what i’ll do while i’m hiding in my hotel room. my bits tend to be about 2 minutes long, so i’ll just string together 4 of them into a decent narrative, leaving me with 2 minutes allotted for gut-busting laughter. in other words, the usual.

Feb 2, 20123 notes
#comedy #ROAD TRIP!

(i don’t normally do this, post chat conversations. it’s none of your business what i’m chatting about, even if it’s usually about how boys are stupid & shopping is fun. but i had a convo with my girl millie that helped me make it through a tough day - and like most of our chats, was fucking hilarious - and i wanted to share it. RIP, don cornelius.)

our story begins with this video:

S: okay.
that “wide receiver” clip is THE BUSINESS.
M: OH MY GOD.
S: 1. THE SONG ITSELF.
2. THE FASHION.
M: RIGHT?!?!?!
asian lady right out the gate
wearing that tea party dress
S: so you KNOW they mean it.
also, ASIAN LADY RIGHT OUT THE GATE is the name of your memoir.
M: HAHAHAHAHA i literally just laughed so loud
S: hahaha!
M: i have literally done NOTHING today
i can’t stop watching these videos
the lady w/ the white pants that puts her sunglasses on while dancing
SHIT
S: i unfriended someone cuz he made a snide remark about people grieving over don cornelius.
don’t fuck with me about soul train.
M: okay. who the FUCK would say that?
i’m questioning people who AREN’T upset by this news
seriously
this is our childhood!
S: if you were never moved by soul train, you effectively have NO SOUL. therefore, i have no need for you.
M: man. it’s like we keep saying — there are lines in the sand being drawn here
i don’t think i can fundamentally get along w/ people who didn’t understand soul train!
god. so freaking sad.
i mean, he’s a fucking LEGEND.
he was on TV when we were kids - that’s huge
that’ll make anyone famous

S: man. i love how your fashion choices were “hot pants” or “billie holiday.”
M: HAHAHAHAHAHHA
first off - i love any couple who dresses town and country
like with white gloves and incorporates their monocle into their dance
S: hahahahahaha!
i know! like, soul train is the epitome of High Class.
M: also, when people bring CHAIRS on stage
or when there’s fucking skits
did you see this shalamar one w/ the SPIDERMAN skit
http://youtu.be/fA_r88JVAKE
S: holy crap!
first of all, i KNEW that the dude in the LEATHER SHORTS SET would be involved.
M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
S: i had a serious love/hate relarionship with that guy.
M: YES! the shabba doo looking dude
S: second, the dude doing faux-ballet while wearing an “everlast” boxing shirt is killing me.
M: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the fingerless gloves!
S: and thirdly, the skit might have been the precursor to “batman & spidey clap them thighs.”
M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
can you fucking imagine them coming up w / that before they shot it
like off camera going, “okay - now ya’ll walk w/ her and i’ll come down and throw a nude colored scarf”
S: and another thing! if you didn’t have fringe, you didn’t have nuthin’.
M: also — okay, besides asian lady ripping her top off
the guy after her — is that a fucking indian guy?!
S: in the tux?!?
i was just watching him!
M: i was like, “if that was a middle eastern guy on soul train - this show truly broke barriers”
S: hahahaha!
M: omg - sorry to keep sending
but you ain’t ready for all this FASH: http://youtu.be/u8PmXw_Saws
and hearing them cheer each other on is the most heartwarming thing ever.
S: i know, right? it’s so sweet.
did i miss the shirt-buttoned-to-top-with-a-brooch revival yet? cuz i’m ready.
M: HAHAHAHAHAHA
loving these little drummer boy jackets too
S: uh, the superlong fake pearl strands TIED IN A KNOT was classic shalewa.
this chick rocking them with stirrup pants needs to give me my childhood back.
M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
S: okay, i just saw an outfit i’m going to try to recreate when i get home.
i just need an asymmetrical lace skirt, a poufy satin miniskirt, and a denim button down.
M: I JUST SAW THAT.
i literally cannot stop
but seeing men dance to this song is warming my heart: http://youtu.be/Kv4Cq6yEs-k
S: okay, when you start with ROSIE PEREZ, you ain’t playin’.
M: HAHAHAHAHAH
okay, wait until you get to the tall guy w/ the white top on
my god
S: and she is dancing like her life depends on it.
M: i used to fucking do that dance ALL THE TIME as a kid
that was my patented move to every song
(except not as perfected, of course)
S: okay, the dude in the white shirt is ah-mazing
M: i just…just
i can’t stop
S: who is this bootleg long haired asian lady?
boo!
M: I KNOW! there’s a couple of copycats
S: i didn’t think about it at the time, but there are a lot of homemade ensembles.
i love the idea of these girls sewing together two different catsuits.
M: RIGHT?!
i just want to believe girl friends went over to each other’s houses the night before
to put on finishing touches
S: and practice their routines.
man, that moment when the camera switches over and a duo looks at each other and counts out, “5, 6, 7, 8,” before they start?
the best!
M: JKSDHFSJDHHD
NUDE HIGH HEEL TAP SHOE
the essence of it
i love how it’s a mix of dim bulb-type club chicks dancing and like PROFESSIONALS
S: yeah, you can totally tell who was picked out of the line because they’re only wearing a bandeau top.
M: HAHAHAHAHA “bandeau top” — thank you for using the proper term
S: man, the bandeau is not for the faint of heart.
you had to have faith in a higher power with that shit.
M: HAHAHAHAHAH

Feb 1, 20123 notes
#music #video #chitting and chatting #don cornelius #soul train
Feb 1, 201230 notes
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