back in the day when i had money to eat thai food, i was enjoying some pad see ew. the restaurant’s soundtrack was seemingly a best of jennifer lopez cd or playlist or something. i enjoyed it more than i thought i would, which is not surprising because i enjoy jennifer lopez more than i should.
she’s someone we (“we”) kind of decided is the worst, right? what was it, guys? why did we think that and how did she get so popular when we clearly hated her?
i kind of love her and i’m not sure why.
no, i know why. she was a fly girl. and Out Of Sight is one of my all time favorite movies. the pass i gave her after that film (“we” gave her, really, c’mon now) lasted far longer than it should have.
yes, i’ve partaken in some j.lo shit talk, but i also loved it when she and ben affleck were together. (ben affleck: another person “we” decided to hate but i fucking love.) i love watching her dance (i prefer it to her singing, honestly). i love how she keeps singing about how she’s a simple girl from the bronx. i don’t know what’s going on her life that she has to keep reiterating the point, but i have a feeling that she might be from the bronx but she has NEVER been that simple girl.
anyhoo! new video from la lopez. the beginning, where we’re introduced to her peanut gallery, is like watching her id and super ego chilling on a couch. they try their hand at social commentary - LET’S OBJECTIFY THE MEN FOR A CHANGE!! - and there’s plenty of male eye candy, but don’t get it twisted. you’re there for jenny. and in case you forgot why you’re there, she reminds you by wearing a modified version of that green dress. you know the one. this time, it’s a jumpsuit. a nice respectable jumpsuit cut down to there and paired with strappy sandals and dripping with gold necklaces and filled out with a 44 year old, post-twin baby having ass. i think i prefer it to the dress, actually. this whole video is here to remind you that j.lo is still foine and was basically put on earth to wear gold tone aviator sunglasses. it is always 2002 in jennifer lopez-land. the only concessions to the now are the two backup dancers/disney sidekicks, a few of the dance moves (NOT ENOUGH DANCING, BTW) and some shitty bars from french montana (WE GET IT, YOU’RE REALLY FROM THE BRONX).
i’m not even sure if the song is any good - the warmth provided by the bass was not obvious through laptop speakers. i had to turn to headphones. it seems light and bright enough, and that i luh ya papi hook will probably be chanted on many street corners as soon as the weather improves. this won’t bring her back to early aughts j.lo but it’s certainly not an embarrassment.
side note: i just realized that one of her sidekicks was a backup dancer for beyonce for years. i enjoyed watching her and noticed that she wasn’t in any of the new bey stuff. but here she is, with lines and everything. is it weird that i noticed? don’t answer that.