“we all need the human touch.” - rick springfield
last night a friend was telling me about a recent birthday weekend, booze-based hookup. she was at the spot, kind of dancing with this dude and…i’ll let her take it from here.
“so i had, like, two huge glasses of cider,” she said. “huge. like, 44 ounces of cider.”
“you drank a big gulp of cider,” i nodded.
“ha. right. then someone bought me an IPA, so i was feeling good. now when i’m tipsy i get handsy and we’re kind of dancing so i just reached around to see what he was working with, then we…”
i held my hand up. “wait, hold up. you did what?”
she laughed. “i just wanted to see what was what.”
“you put your hand on his dick? you reached around and felt his junk?”
“i get handsy,” she shrugged.
okay, guys. i rarely drink so i don’t know if i’m doing it right. should i be handsy? i have another friend who runs her finger in your cleavage when she gets drunk. is that how drunk should be done? is this how people are getting it in? jeez, i can’t do anything right. when i get drunk i either yell at the television more than usual or fall asleep.
