I had this conversation with Shalewa yesterday on Gchat that was so funny and ACCIDENTALLY ILLUMINATING that I just have to share it (plus, it was inspiration for this hilarious playlist I made in Spotify that I now can’t stop listening to).
me: I’m making this playlist in Spotify that is, like, the essence of moms who wore sweaters with leather patches in the 80’s
shalewa: i feel like those moms also wore matching leather(ish) skirts.
me: YES!!!!! and it was BLUE. blue leather
shalewa: you’re right - this is the best playlist ever.
shalewa: BLUE LEATHER!
me: oh my god i have to change the name of it now to “blue leather skirt w/ matching sweater”
shalewa: almost-black sheer stockings
me: i am laughing so hard. “off black”, “suntan”
shalewa: god, i had to wear suntan hose for drill team my junior year. all of our legs had to match. i was the only black girl; i was like, “really?”
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA — man i rocked that suntan hose for all childhood dress up functions. like, a nine year old at communion with this divorced lady’s pantyhose
you’re an old soul, millie.
me: i mean, i think i’m just WEIRD at this point
i just saw a thing about the new cat power record
and here i am putting ashford and simpson on a playlist
shalewa: that whole exchange made me realize that i don’t get dressed the sexy way.
you know how those women are always putting on their shoes while walking?
shalewa: as he honks his horn or rings the doorbell?
me: i have to, like, brace myself against a wall
shalewa: I’VE NEVER DONE THAT.
me: i’m like sweating on the bed pulling up tights
shalewa: i don’t even bend over; i just shove my foot in a shoe & wiggle.
me: did you have a vanity growing up?
like in your room?
me: ME NEITHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE WERE NOT VANITY GIRLS.
oh my god
my parents could afford the three piece bedroom, NOT the five
shalewa: so much is starting to click for me now.
my mom had one of those lighted mirrors with the four settings.
but she rarely pulled it out.
me: i think that girls who had vanities
a) the parents could afford the extra furniture
and b) they were like “my daughter is girly and needs a place to put on her makeup”
my parents were NO on both
shalewa: they BELIEVED in their daughter’s vanity. my folks, not so much.
me: EXACTLY!! god i fucking dreamed of a white wicker vanity, with necklaces and ribbons for horse jumping and bottles of Wind Song everywhere
shalewa: “i can’t seem to forget you…”
i still have nightmares about those suntan pantyhose.