well, last night i learned that i care a lot about this comedy shit. too much, maybe. nobody - not even all of the scheduled comedians - showed up at the story telling show i’ve been running recently. that was a huge bummer; i booked comics who hadn’t done that venue before or who live in areas outside of metro atlanta. no audience at all, but we did the show anyway. there’s a open mic after the story telling show and i was very excited at the idea of doing it. but nobody was there to organize it. correction: the girl in charge was eating at a sub sandwich shop across the street, fifteen minutes after the mic was scheduled to start.

i can’t fully explain what about that infuriated me. maybe it was walking through a packed bar/lounge area after speaking to an empty room for an hour. maybe it was the nonchalance of everyone: the apathetic theater employees, the comics who were all wondering who was in charge but didn’t feel like stepping up, the showrunner who finally showed up, saying, “sorry. i just totally forgot.”

whatever it was, i was instantly angry. i was well aware that it was an irrational anger, based on annoyances i fabricated, and that it was unnecessary once the showrunner arrived - and yet i couldn’t stop it from happening. i was vibrating with rage. so i left. i would have ended up getting into a huge fight with somebody. there was NO WAY i could have told any jokes; i’ve made that mistake once before. i was the only one with a problem, so i took my problem away and screamed at it during the entire drive back to my house (i took the scenic route).

lately i’ve been taking on some responsibilities. i’ve basically hijacked this story telling show from the creator. i’m co-producing SHAKE. i’m reaching out to get booked in different cities. i’m thinking about these things constantly, only stopping to think about how i’m going to uproot my life for this. for fucking COMEDY. i have enough going on; i didn’t need to get worked up. but in that moment, i felt like the only one who gave a damn, and it got to me.

from what i hear, the open mic was a lot of fun. so there’s that.