Esquire.com: Tina Fey Is Hot
I read this article twice. The first time I read through it quickly and sort of got knee-jerk offended and didn’t really know why (maybe because I saw Sarah Palin’s name a bunch of times). Then I read it again (slower this time) and found it interesting. Reason being that I always thought Tina Fey was not just “sorta cute”, but actually exceptionally good looking. Even when she had weird mauve lipstick on her teeth during Weekend Update, but ESPECIALLY on 30 Rock. And as charming as the Liz Lemon character is because it makes all of us women feel like it’s okay to have real neuroses (which seems like a ridiculous thing to say, but is actually hardly ever seen in media) — Liz Lemon’s looks are Tina Fey’s looks and I always thought she was being kind of ridiculous to play them off so much. Tiny Fey is not even that awkward. Or has a big ass. Or is some giant, hairy Greek monster (and I should know - I have Mediterranean blood myself). Tiny Fey is hot and has been for a long time. She is attractive when she is purposely playing ugly, i.e. stuffing an entire pizza in her mouth (which, come on, what’s cuter than a thin, mousey girl talking about eating all the time — that adorable irony has been around for a while, son). She was even cute while wearing that “Lesbian Mario Brothers” outfit.
I guarantee you that if you put my ass into some jean short overalls, I would look like a frightening, homeless ex-linebacker that men would have no problem punching in the gut as they walked by. Then again, I’m willing to say that everything Liz Lemon/Tiny Fey does that seems awkward/unattractive/scary looks cute on her but would look TERRIBLE on me. Liz Lemon could get away with the door accidentally flying open while she was on the toilet and we all think it’s charming (hell, remember Jenny McCarthy and her high fashion photo shoot ON the toilet?) Meanwhile, people could barely deal with a character like Jerri Blank on TV wearing stretch pants and a short top. If a girl farts in the woods and she’s cute enough to get away with it, does it make a sound? (I might have fucked up that really dumb metaphor; feel free to correct me.)
For the record, I don’t hate Tiny Fey because she’s pretty. Or anyone who is pretty. And I also don’t think I’m ugly. However, I do think false modesty and humblebraggin’ is lame. Especially now when everyone is an ugly, geeky nerd and you can’t tell asses from elbows anymore. True modesty and self effacement will always be charming, but all this other over-exaggerated pretending-not-to-be-pretty stuff has got to go. Maybe it’s because where I come from being ugly is, like REALLY FUCKING UGLY, and mostly has to do with lousy attitudes and botched plastic surgeries and Undeserved Thumb Ring Confidence. But then again, I live a million miles away from Hollywood (both in physical distance, and perhaps, intellectually). And maybe a woman like Tina Fey is considered ugly in Hollywood. In fact, I know she probably is. But c’mon, haven’t we been in the the era of awkward hot people for a reaaaally long time now? Doesn’t pretending to be frumpy yet getting to be on TV and in magazines all the time, sometimes in sexy clothes, feel like some kind of weird viral marketing thing at this point? And perhaps I come from an 90’s-DIY-independent-record-label-alternative mindset that was trained to be instantly weary and disgusted with that kind of factitious coolness, and therefore in my mind all this Fake Frump kind of seems poseurish and Hot Topic to me, and just makes me want to say, “Stop pretending that you’re not attractive and just be silently attractive, okay? And for crying out loud, just try to do good, honorable things in life and let all this bullshit go because there’s nothing worse than pretending you’re a Ricky when you’re really a Rayanne*.”
* = Everyone understands this, right?
*slow clap*
well, i’m off to get this entire post tattoo’d on my forearm.
(Source: debbiecountry)
