still in a reggie watts haze. this particular video isn’t very funny, but i watch it CONSTANTLY. the song he constructs is perfection. i can’t begin to wrap my brain around how many amazing improvisational songs he’s released into the ether; i’m so glad somebody captured this one.

i just stumbled upon a new video by E-40. there’s nothing particularly special about it - just dudes and dames having fun with ultraviolet light in the club.

but doesn’t that night club seem….sparsely attended? like, it feels like they rented out a club & lured a few people with vague promises of you tube stardom and chicken fingers.

i seem to remember a time where “the club” in a video felt like the actual CLUB.

you can’t convince me that all of those people were just packed in at club vision/the velvet room/the tunnel/the kit kat club or whatever, and somebody thought, “hey, let’s turn on some of these cameras we have propped up everywhere.”

being in the club used to be so effortless, y’know?

you know what? ty segall is playing the EARL tonight. i think i’m gonna give him a try.

and here is why even when i give up on nelly furtado, i never REALLY give up on nelly furtado. sure, this song sounds like a rihanna knock off, but let’s remember that nelly had that nasally honk sound down way before ri-ri was asking the dj to turn the music up. the most important thing, however, is the “drop” - everyone and their slightly clueless mother is shoving a dubstep break into their songs. nelly furtado? she dropped a JUNGLE beat, son. that’s my girl.

i’m not a fan of whatever this “dubstep” is. from a former club kid standpoint, that shit is the biggest cocktease. there’s a huge build up, then it breaks into half time and deep bass and that’s it? no beat to dance to? what’s wrong, kids - scared of a little syncopation? huh - i’d have to be high to fully appreciate it? GTFOHWTBS. you’re wasting my time.

new rule: living each day like i’m carlton dancing to oprah’s theme song.

i don’t know if you are aware of what’s happening on the music charts, but i am. in fact, i’m very aware of what’s happening on big champagne’s ultimate chart, mostly because it’s my job to work on it. anyhoo, these two english boy bands came out of nowhere (Actually, they came out of England. - Killjoy Ed.) and they’ve stormed the chart. seriously - they were in the top ten within two weeks. both of them. and during those two weeks, the only thing i could remember was that one group had a video where they were on the beach but one member wasn’t chiseled enough to go topless. “aw,” i thought. “there goes the chris kirkpatrick.”

since it’s my job, i took a moment and watched one video by each group. they are TOTALLY DIFFERENT, guys. and that’s not sarcasm.

ONE DIRECTION:

…was grown in the fertile fields that is X-Factor, one of those singing competition shows i never watch. (real talk - i’ve never seen a minute of them. not even american idol. wait, last season i watch the first episode of the voice, but then my senses kicked it.) they had all tried out individually, but brain trust nicole scherzgfljkrgfhuithjgbfsxlhbnger suggested they form a group. voila! it’s pretty pop, right? straight up disney channel commercial break. just what you think of when you think boy band.

but what’s that? you say you love boy bands but you need more abs? no problem. i’ll just run them through the Ibiza-fier and…

THE WANTED:

boy band in the clluuurrrbbbb!! disney after dark, son. i’m not sure how i got them confused - one direction looks like a boy band, the wanted looks like a photo shoot.

which one is better? oh, i’m not qualified to answer that question. i prefer to work one-on-one with pop singers…which is why i’m currently obsessed with this young english kid, conor maynard:

white kid aping an r&b singing style? that’s my wheelhouse.

two years in and this video can still reduce me to tears. i’m barely holding myself together.